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Blog, English School Articles · June 11, 2009

スミス英会話高円寺 PUNS

You are here: Home / Blog / スミス英会話高円寺 PUNS

All Bull
All Bull

The following puns were received by me via email and I thought that they maybe useful in the classroom on some occassion. Although they are old I still find them funny and as a good laugh is the best medicine for relaxation, I do hope that those of you who read them will enjoy them as much as I do – a prolific exponent of the pun.

Subject: Word Play

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because
it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults:
Practice safe sects!

Ken
Smith’s School of English Koenji

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Filed Under: Blog, English School Articles Tagged With: esl, IELTS, Smith Koenji, Smith's School of English, TOIEC, スミス 英会話, スミス英会話無料レッスン, スミス英会話高円寺, スミス高円寺, 英会話, 英会話高円寺, 高円寺, 高円寺英会話

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スミス英会話メインページ

1 week ago

スミス英会話メインページ
今週のワンポイントレッスンはコチラです★Tell us about a conversation you had today.今日した会話について教えてください。smithweb.co.jp/2025/06/one-point-lesson-7a15/#スミス英会話 #月謝制英会話 #ワンポイントレッスン ... See MoreSee Less
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スミス英会話メインページ

2 weeks ago

スミス英会話メインページ
今週のワンポイントレッスンはコチラです★What do you think is necessary for a person to grow?人が成長するために必要なものは何だと思いますか?smithweb.co.jp/2025/05/one-point-lesson-7a14/#スミス英会話 #月謝制英会話 #ワンポイントレッスン ... See MoreSee Less
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